Friday Blog

November 2 marks the 270th anniversary of the birth of Marie Antoinette, the last queen of France. Born  Maria Antonia in Vienna, Austria, she was the youngest of fifteen children born to Empress Maria Teresa and Emperor Francis I. When the Austrian duchess was fourteen a marriage was arranged between her and Louis, the teenage Dauphin of France. The marriage was the capstone of negotiations to create a political alliance between traditional rivals Austria and France. The duchess moved to France accompanied by an entourage of 57 carriages, 117 footmen, and 376 horses. Her arrival in Paris was met with mixed reactions. Many in the upper class didn’t approve of her because they opposed the French-Austrian alliance. However most commoners were charmed by her striking grace and beauty. After Louis XV died in 1774, The Dauphin became King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette became queen. Marie Antoinette became known for her conspicuous displays of wealth. She grew a pouf that was four feet high. Her wigs were powdered white with flour which was an affront to many peasants who couldn’t afford bread. The royal couple were portrayed as being greedy, stupid, and immoral. Louis was often portrayed in artwork as a pig while a popular painting featured snakes in the queen’s hair- a la Medusa. The young king was not intellectually or emotionally up to the job. We are talking about a guy who took seven years to finally consummate his marriage. The public’s disapproval of the hapless king drove him into a severe depression. A woefully unprepared Marie Antoinette became more involved in day-to-day  governance. Meanwhile, she was ostentatiously spending on personal luxuries while peasants were starving to death. Marie Antoinette was accused of defrauding the state treasury in order to purchase a diamond necklace worth two million livres (about $15M in today’s dollars). The queen was proven innocent in court but the people’s discontent was bubbling over. Fearing for their safety, the royal family disguised themselves as commoners and fled Paris in June,1791. Their escape to the eastern border ended when they were apprehended in Varennes. The family was brought back to Paris and placed under house arrest in the Tuileries Palace. In January 1793, Louis XVI was put on trial and executed by guillotine. The 37- year-old queen’s execution by guillotine followed on October 16, 1793. About That Cake Marie Antoinette probably never uttered the phrase “Let them eat cake” but her alleged words became part of a vicious propaganda campaign. One hundred years before Marie Antoinette was born, Swiss philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau attributed those words to Marie-Therese, the Spanish princess who married King Louis XIV. The Queen was one of the first casualties of the Reign of Terror. A revolutionary tribunal tried her on trumped-up crimes against the republic that included high treason and sexual deviance. She was even charged with having incestuous relations with her son Louis-Charles. The ten-year-old boy was forced to testify that his mother had molested him. It took only two days for the tribunal to find Marie Antoinette guilty on all charges and condemn her to the guillotine. Classy to the end During her final days in prison, Marie Antoinette conducted herself with dignity and courage. Her last words were spoken as she ascended the guillotine stairs. She accidentally stepped on the foot of the executioner and exclaimed “Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l’ai pas fait exprès” (“Pardon me, sir, I did not do it on purpose.”).   I am certainly not an expert on Marie Antoinette, however, my cursory view is that she was thrust into a leadership role for which she had neither the qualifications nor intellect. It’s unfortunate that she didn’t just remain in the comfort of her parent’s Vienna palace. Although, those must have been some fabulous soirees at her French palais.   C’est tout. Passez un bon weekend. Thanks to everyone who has bought my book, “Get Smarter-Be Amazed”. If you haven’t purchased your copy yet, please visit www.tedcurtinstories.com for more information and links to online retailers.

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Most people are on pins and needles as election day approaches. So it is a good time to step back, count our blessings and maybe have a laugh or two. To that end, here are some observations from two comedic giants: George Carlin and Steven Wright. George Carlin – Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. – Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. – I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. – Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. – One nice thing about egomaniacs: they don’t talk about other people – The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept. – I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam. – Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that. – Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. – Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did. – The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. – What was the best thing before sliced bread? – When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? – If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that s–t? – I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Steven Wright: – I intend to live forever … So far, so good. – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. – My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Why do psychics have to ask you for your name – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back. – Half the people you know are below average. –  99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. – OK, so what’s the speed of dark? – How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink? – Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. – What happens if you get scared half to death twice? – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. – The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. – If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up. – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. – I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ….. But she left me before we met. – They say it’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.   Hope you got to chuckle. Have a great weekend My book, “Get Smarter-Be Amazed” does not reach the genius levels of George or Steven. However, the reviews on Amazon are great and many buyers end up ordering additional copies for family and friends. Visit www.tedcurtinstories.com for more information, review snippets, and direct links to Barnes and Noble and Amazon.

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The list of people born on October 18 is extraordinary. Check out this roster.

Actors and Musicians

Dawn Wells

In 1964, the former Miss Nevada beat out 300 other applicants (including Racquel Welch) to win the role of Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island. Surprisingly Dawn’s career stalled after  “Gilligan’s Island”. She was briefly married in the sixties and never had children. In 2018, a Go Fund Me page was set up to help Wells to cover her medical expenses. The dementia patient died of Covid in 2020. Sad ending but Dawn still wins the men’s barroom question – “Ginger or Mary Ann?”

Chuck Berry 

Rolling Stone Magazine ranks Chuck Berry as the fifth greatest rock artist of all-time. What can you say about the composer of “Johnny B. Goode “and “Roll Over Beethoven” except he’ll get his own blog soon.

Wynton Marsalis

Not only is Marsalis a master of the jazz trumpet but he is also a renowned symphonic musician. When he was 14, Wynton performed with the New Orleans Philharmonic. Three years later he began classical music studies at Juilliard in New York City. It was there that Wynton fell in love with jazz. He has produced many great jazz albums but be sure to check out his wonderful symphonic compilations.

Jean-Claude Van Damme 

As a teenager. Brussels born Van Damme won the 1978 Belgium bodybuilding title and the 1979 European professional karate championship. He then moved to Hollywood to study acting. Van Damme’s films have grossed over $1B.

Victor Sen Yung

Victor portrayed Hop Sing on the iconic western series, “Bonanza”. Prior to that, he played Jimmy, the Number Two Son, in the 1940s Charlie Chan movies.  

Melina Mercouri

Nicknamed the “Last Greek Goddess”, Mercouri was an iconic 1960s actress. An early women’s activist, she was elected to the Greek Parliament in 1977 and later became the first woman to hold a cabinet post in Greece.

George C. Scott

Scott received Oscar Nominations for “Anatomy of a Murder” and “The Hustler” before amusing audiences in “Dr. Strangelove”. In 1971 Scott became the first person to decline an Oscar (Patton) as he was philosophically opposed to acting awards. After his death in 1999, Scott was buried in an unmarked Los Angeles grave.

Peter Boyle

Prior to pursuing acting Boyle spent three years in a Christian Brothers seminary. After appearing in many successful movies including “Young Frankenstein”. Boyle capped his career with his supporting performance in “Everybody Loves Raymond”.  Boyle received seven Emmy nominations for that role but never won. He died of heart disease at the age of 71 in 2006.

Pam Dawber

Pam dropped out of college in the early seventies and moved to NYC where she became a successful model. Despite Pam’s lack of acting experience she won a title role along with an unknown Robin Williams in the  sitcom “Mork and Mindy”.  Dawber married actor Mark Harmon in 1987 and they have two sons.

 Athletes

Martina Navratilova

The tennis phenom won a record nine Wimbledon titles. She also won four U.S. Opens, three Australian Opens, and two French Opens.

In 2023, Navratilova was diagnosed with both throat and breast cancer. After months of radiation, she was declared cancer-free.

Thomas Hearns

Thomas “Hitman” Hearns’s is the only boxer in history to win titles in five weight divisions. Hearns’ tall, slender build and oversized arms allowed him to move up fifty pounds during his career.

Hearns waged epic fights against Sugar Ray Leonard and Marvin Hagler and was the first man to ever knockout Roberto Duran. Unfortunately, Thomas has run into significant financial difficulties which stem from his overwhelming generosity.

Mike Ditka

Ditka excelled at football, baseball and basketball at the University of Pittsburgh. Oh, and somehow, he found time to win the university’s intramural wrestling championship.

Ditka was voted into the NFL Hall of Fame after being selected five-times to the Pro-Bowl as a tight end. He is also renowned as a successful coach, broadcaster, restauranter, and overall  bad-ass.

Happy birthday to all of these accomplished people. Have a great weekend.

If you enjoyed this blog, you will love my recent book, “Get Smarter-Be Amazed”. Visit www.tedcurtinstoreis.com for more information and direct links to Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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October 11 marks the 215th anniversary of the death of Meriwether Lewis. As a grade school student, I totally disrespected Lewis and his companion William Clark.  My heroes were warriors like George Washington, Andrew Jackson, and Davy Crocket. What did Lewis and Clark do except go on a long cross-country trip? I didn’t understand why history books gave so much space to two wussies who never fought at Yorktown, New Orleans or The Alamo.

My opinion changed when I read Stephen Ambrose’s brilliant book about Lewis and Clark. There is a reason Ambrose entitled the book ‘Undaunted Courage”. The two leaders led their expedition through thousands of miles of uncharted terrain. Invariably, the explorers used axes to cut their way through dense forests. When they did find a trail, they had to wonder who used it – friendly or non-friendly Natives? Danger lurked around every bend.

Meriwether’s Journey

In 1795, the army court-marshalled twenty-one-year-old Lewis for drunkenly challenging a lieutenant to a duel. Rather than being expelled, Lewis was transferred to a company commanded by Revolutionary War veteran William Clark.  In 1801, Thomas Jefferson appointed Lewis, who had grown up near Jefferson’s Monticello estate, as his presidential secretary.

The early nineteenth century witnessed significant tensions between the United States and two European empires. Spain owned Louisiana but allowed American explorers to freely traverse the Mississippi. When Spain sold Louisiana to France in 1800,  Americans feared Napoleon would close the port of New Orleans, thus blocking  America’s westward expansion.

Any plans Napoleon had of controlling the American South changed when slaves successfully revolted against the French regime in St. Domingue (modern-day Haiti). France’s sudden need for cash impelled Napoleon to offer the Louisiana territory to the U.S. The territory stretched from the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains and from the Gulf of Mexico to Canada. It included all or a portion of 15 of today’s states. In 1803, President Jefferson commandeered the acquisition of the land that doubled the size of the United States for only $15M.

Jefferson started planning a scientific exploration to the West which would also hopefully discover a water route to the Pacific. He chose Lewis to command the mission. Lewis recruited 33 expert woodsmen who received five dollars a month and a promise of land upon their return. Lewis recruited his former superior William Clark because of Clark’s leadership and mapmaking skills. Eventually, Sacagawea a young Shoshone woman joined the expedition. She proved to be an expert guide and naturalist and her translation abilities extricated the explorers from some tense encounters with native tribes.

The expedition which launched from St. Louis in May,1804 stocked seven tons of nonperishable foods, including beans, dried pork, coffee, salt and lard. Records indicate that each pioneer consumed an average of nine pounds of meat daily (Yikes).

Expedition members endured everything from dysentery to snakebites but only one member died during the journey- from an illness Lewis diagnosed as “bilious colic”. Lewis himself was accidently shot in the buttocks by a colleague causing him several weeks of excruciating pain.

The pioneers crossed the Rockies and reached the Pacific coast. After wintering by the Columbia River the  explorers began the long return trip and arrived in St. Louis on September 23, 1806.

Throughout the grueling two-year, 8000-mile expedition, Lewis and Clark maintained meticulous notebooks that included detailed maps and observations about the native tribes. They also described 178 previously unknown plant species and 122 new animals including beavers and grizzly bears.  Most significantly, Lewis and Clark laid the foundation for future pioneers.

Sad Ending

Lewis battled depression throughout his life and his condition worsened when he returned in 1806 . He reportedly suffered from alcoholism and struggled in his appointed role as Governor of Louisiana. During an 1809 journey to Washington, Lewis was twice prevented from committing suicide. He eventually was found dead in an isolated cabin with gunshot wounds. He was 35.

Poor Meriwether – He picked the wrong century in which to be a hero. Today he would have at least received a trip to Disneyworld and certainly would be a regular on “Dancing with the Explorers”.

Have a great weekend.

Thanks to all of you who have purchased my book and thanks for all of the rave reviews. If you haven’t bought your copy please visit www.tedcurtinstories.com for direct links to Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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August 30 marks the 127th anniversary of the birth of John William Mauchly who along with J. Presper Eckert invented the first electronic digital computer. Born in Cincinnati, Mauchly earned a PHD in physics from Johns Hopkins University in 1932.

Mauchly became chairman of the physics department at Ursinus College where he also pursued his lifelong interests in meteorology and electrical engineering. At the time, the analysis of weather patterns was a laborious process even with mechanical calculators. Mauchly was working on ground-breaking ways to automate these calculations when he answered the call to help the U.S. Army’s Ballistic Research Laboratory during WWII. His first project was the calculation of artillery firing tables and he then became involved in feasibility studies for the hydrogen bomb.

In 1945, Mauchley and Eckert introduced their Electrical Numerical Integrator And Calculator (ENIAC). The ENIAC was approximately 1,800 square feet in size and weighed 30 tons. Other mainframe computers that soon followed were so large that they filled entire floors of buildings. The computers were typically owned by large corporations or government agencies to perform complex calculations and scientific research.

How does the ENIAC compare to your laptop aside from the fact you don’t need a second house to hold your PC? The ENIAC had a processing speed of about 5,000 instructions per second. Your laptop is 30,000 times faster than the ENIAC, executing billions of instructions per second. Your iPhone crushes the ENIACs processing power with the iPhone 14 being capable of performing 17 trillion operations per second. And, an iPhone has tens of thousands of times more memory than the 30 ton ENIAC.

BITS and BYTES

John Mauchly received a doctorate from Johns Hopkins even though he never completed requirements for his bachelor’s degree. The list of college dropouts who became tech icons include Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey (Twitter) and Larry Ellison (Oracle).

Despite the wonderous technology that we can now hold in our hand, today’s most advanced devices are no match for the power of the human brain. The typical brain can process 38 thousand trillion operations per second and store more than 3580 terabytes of memories. 

The first webcam was utilized by Cambridge University researchers so they could monitor their  coffee maker. 

The longest word that you can type using the letters on only one row of your keyboard is “typewriter”.  

The first person to earn a Ph.D. in Computer Science in the United States was Mary Kenneth Keller, a Catholic nun.

In 1999, the world’s top two search engines were Yahoo and Excite. Google co-founder Larry Page offered his technology to Excite for $750,000 and 1% of Excite stock.  The deal fell through because the established company’s executives did not like Page’s insistence that Google would be Excite’s new search engine. Today, Google’s market cap is over $2 Trillion and most people don’t remember Excite.

Americans throw away 14 million mobile devices each year despite these devices containing precious metals like gold and silver. On an annual basis, Americans toss $60 million in gold and silver straight into the trash.

The decentralized digital currency Bitcoin launched in early 2009. The following year, the first Bitcoin transaction occurred when Laszlo Hanyecz bought two pizzas from 19 year old student Jeremy Sturdivan for 10,000 bitcoins. The value of the coins was $41.00 and Sturdivan quickly spent his take. The current value of a Bitcoin is 64,000 and Sturdivan’s mislaid coins would be worth $365M.

Satoshi Nakamoto is the pseudonym used by the person or persons that created Bitcoin and researchers still don’t know the actual identity (ies) of the people behind the curtain. So if you feel badly that you don’t understand Bitcoin – Don’t. And, as somebody who spent years in cyber security my advice is “Runaway”.

Have a great weekend. I won’t be blogging in September. Enjoy the rest of the summer.

Thanks to all of you who have purchased my book and thanks for all of the rave reviews. If you haven’t bought your copy please visit www.tedcurtinstories.com for direct links to Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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At a recent alumni golf event, friends urged me to write a blog on golf.  As adult beverages flowed at the nineteenth hole, some requests seemed to turn into veiled threats. Thus, as an act of self-preservation here are some random musings about golf.

History

The modern game of golf can be traced back to fifteenth century Scotland. It is often said that the game is called golf because all of the other four letter words were taken. In actuality the word evolved from the Dutch term for club: “kolve” or “kolf”. The Scots modified the pronunciation to “goff” and eventually “golf”

Golf was strictly a man’s game until Mary Queen of Scots took up the sport. The avid golfer introduced  the game to France during a royal visit. She was guarded by French military aides known as cadets who also carried the clubs for golfers. Voila: the origin of “caddy”.

For a more amusing and concise explanation of how the Scots invented golf go to Robin William’s classic rant on the subject.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcnFbCCgTo4&t=202s

Hooks and Slices

The first golf handicap system was invented in 1893 by a woman: Issette Pearson. 

Before 1899, there were no golf tees. Golfers were provided a box filled with wet sand so that players could build mounds from which to strike their ball. In 1899, Dr. George Grant, the second African American to earn a dental degree received a patent for the first tee.

Insurance companies that underwrite hole-in-one contests calculate the odds of a pro making a hole-in-one at 3,000 to 1. For amateurs, it’s 12,500 to 1.

While left-handers make up 10 to 12 percent of the overall population, only 5 to 7 percent of golfers play left-handed. However in Canada 30 percent of golfers play left-handed. That’s because nearly two thirds of Canadian hockey players shoot left-handed, making it an easy transition to swing a golf club from that side.

Despite his nickname, Phil “Lefty” Mickelson is right-handed. Aside from golf, Lefty does everything from the right side but chose to emulate his left-handed father’s swing.

Sam Snead became the youngest PGA Tour player to shoot his age when he recorded a 67 in 1979.  Thomas Edison Smith, an amateur from Minnesota, shot his age an  incredible 3,359 times. The oldest golfer to shoot his age was Arthur Thompson of Victoria, British Columbia who shot a 103 in 1972.

While Americans have a million to one chance of being struck by lightning. the odds for golfers are 250,000 to one. Still, statistics show that there is only one lightning related golfing fatality per year (fishing fatalities are much higher). The great Lee Trevino has been struck three times. He was hospitalized during the 1975 Western Open when rather than seeking protection in the clubhouse he stood under a tree with his umbrella open.

Nullarbor Links, located in Western Australia’s Golden Outback, is the world’s longest  golf course. The  848 mile track opened in 2009. The course was built to provide travelers with breaks from driving the dreary highway and to promote area tourism.  There is one hole in each participating town and the average distance between holes is 41 miles. Score cards can be purchased at either end of the route for A$70 plus an A$8 maintenance fee. Players provide their own clubs or rent them at each hole. If you plan on taking on these rugged outback fairways, be sure to watch out for hidden wombat holes and three species of deadly snakes. Also, beware that temperatures can reach 122°F.

If a round in Outback heat is not your idea of fun consider signing up for the annual World Ice Golf Championships which take place in Uummannaq, Greenland. Instead of greens, players putt on ice. Just beware that participating golfers often become afflicted with snow blindness.

Just Ask Hank

Golf is a difficult endeavor for even the world’s greatest athletes. Here is baseball immortal Henry Aaron’s summation: It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.

Have a great weekend and hit em straight.

If you liked this blog you will enjoy my highly acclaimed book, ‘Get Smarter- Be Amazed”. Visit www.tedcurtinstories.com for direct links to Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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